I love black thongs
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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