he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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