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• (813): View more from Florida

  mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile

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• (586): View more from Michigan

  yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home

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• (716): View more from New York

  sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner

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  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."

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• (310): View more from California

  how was it?

  (1-310): View more from California

  he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.

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• 

  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

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• (619): View more from California

  Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..

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