Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I wish I only lived at night.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.