Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  to do: lose virginity to hamster dance

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  (617): to do: lose virginity to hamster dance http://tfl.nu/0r0s
  Replies (25) Good night (985) Bad night (2533)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.

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  (845): Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck. http://tfl.nu/wpar
  Replies (17) Good night (993) Bad night (2718)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it

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  (843): just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it http://tfl.nu/dhcg
  Replies (42) Good night (5088) Bad night (1238)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.

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  (254): I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night. http://tfl.nu/j8hi
  Replies (27) Good night (4461) Bad night (1143)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat

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  (207): dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat http://tfl.nu/ast4
  Replies (56) Good night (15834) Bad night (1626)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?

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  (415): MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone? http://tfl.nu/5bs9
  Replies (14) Good night (716) Bad night (2973)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.

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  (647): I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French. http://tfl.nu/aztk
  Replies (6) Good night (1255) Bad night (448)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.

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  (303): Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV. http://tfl.nu/f5v6
  Replies (3) Good night (455) Bad night (1206)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.

  (1-720): View more from Colorado

  OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!

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  (720): The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED. (1-720): OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby! http://tfl.nu/5dg1
  Replies (2) Good night (1321) Bad night (431)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  It's a good cause. For your vagina.

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  (603): It's a good cause. For your vagina. http://tfl.nu/54ey
  Replies (5) Good night (947) Bad night (748)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?

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  (530): Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt? http://tfl.nu/ijyj
  Replies (6) Good night (722) Bad night (321)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Sure. But we have to be quiet.

  (1-775): View more from Nevada

  Ninja mode activated

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  (775): Sure. But we have to be quiet. (1-775): Ninja mode activated http://tfl.nu/1wq1
  Replies (5) Good night (1181) Bad night (236)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?

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  (616): I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day? http://tfl.nu/5vcx
  Replies (3) Good night (266) Bad night (552)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year

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  (253): I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year http://tfl.nu/c4bo
  Replies (2) Good night (349) Bad night (266)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.

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  (973): You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch". (908): That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch. http://tfl.nu/oi97
  Replies (2) Good night (608) Bad night (225)

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