Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.

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  (734): Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet. http://tfl.nu/i3tf
  Replies (17) Good night (842) Bad night (1920)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober

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  (407): Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober http://tfl.nu/epi9
  Replies (19) Good night (853) Bad night (2636)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.

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  (248): girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing. http://tfl.nu/feuq
  Replies (17) Good night (749) Bad night (2535)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  Whats the glycemic index on semen?

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  (216): Whats the glycemic index on semen? http://tfl.nu/dx5r
  Replies (17) Good night (2706) Bad night (781)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.

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  (412): His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'. http://tfl.nu/510f
  Replies (26) Good night (5140) Bad night (2130)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors

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  (610): aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors http://tfl.nu/o36o
  Replies (15) Good night (5163) Bad night (1728)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"

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  (262): This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year" http://tfl.nu/hf6v
  Replies (9) Good night (1230) Bad night (6350)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that

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  (778): you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that http://tfl.nu/wgi4
  Replies (6) Good night (1005) Bad night (2834)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose

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  (503): I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose http://tfl.nu/4w95
  Replies (3) Good night (722) Bad night (450)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.

  (1+44): View more from

  They'll never let you practice medicine.

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  (+44): Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it. (1+44): They'll never let you practice medicine. http://tfl.nu/k98f
  Replies (5) Good night (1537) Bad night (343)
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  (928): View more from Arizona

  So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time

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  (928): So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time http://tfl.nu/6mpm
  Replies (5) Good night (1368) Bad night (298)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only

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  (647): You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only http://tfl.nu/xu5w
  Replies (11) Good night (355) Bad night (625)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.

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  (406): Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet. http://tfl.nu/hvvl
  Replies (0) Good night (320) Bad night (522)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?

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  (812): Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner? http://tfl.nu/i2e0
  Replies (13) Good night (537) Bad night (292)
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  (646): View more from New York

  Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing

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  (646): Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing http://tfl.nu/6r92
  Replies (0) Good night (382) Bad night (660)

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