Texts From Last Night

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  (281): View more from Texas

  I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.

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  (281): I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in. http://tfl.nu/ql5b
  Replies (15) Good night (3852) Bad night (694)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.

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  (812): she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying. http://tfl.nu/q1xu
  Replies (5) Good night (829) Bad night (3756)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook

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  (716): I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook http://tfl.nu/bd4f
  Replies (8) Good night (3632) Bad night (810)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.

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  (616): I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night. http://tfl.nu/m0ls
  Replies (68) Good night (2195) Bad night (4018)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall

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  (313): remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall http://tfl.nu/brex
  Replies (11) Good night (4458) Bad night (1041)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.

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  (360): I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer. http://tfl.nu/agxw
  Replies (4) Good night (2314) Bad night (932)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit

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  (989): I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit http://tfl.nu/8uwi
  Replies (2) Good night (1850) Bad night (995)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.

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  (845): Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible. http://tfl.nu/r0ag
  Replies (6) Good night (939) Bad night (692)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.

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  (785): Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes. http://tfl.nu/4ozu
  Replies (6) Good night (1141) Bad night (482)
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  (408): View more from California

  Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.

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  (408): Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA. http://tfl.nu/jstd
  Replies (3) Good night (667) Bad night (376)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high

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  (401): apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high http://tfl.nu/w0gd
  Replies (3) Good night (857) Bad night (413)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.

  (1-937): View more from Ohio

  That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!

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  (937): The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable. (1-937): That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil! http://tfl.nu/f2da
  Replies (5) Good night (423) Bad night (798)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.

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  (239): The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die. http://tfl.nu/hid4
  Replies (15) Good night (609) Bad night (1370)
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  (518): View more from New York

  We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential

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  (518): We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential http://tfl.nu/2oz5
  Replies (1) Good night (378) Bad night (304)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  ...it's a 9am class...

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  (602): You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer? (505): ...it's a 9am class... http://tfl.nu/7p5a
  Replies (2) Good night (648) Bad night (344)

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