where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
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