Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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