I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
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