So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I did not marry a roomba.
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