You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
