Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
