oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
