toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
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My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
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Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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