I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
