i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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