He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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