Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
you never un-have a 4some
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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