she woke up with a sticky ear
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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