who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize