You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
