Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
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she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
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He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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