am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
