Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
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