Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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