you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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