I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
