Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings