Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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