I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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