It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
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