You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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