At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
