i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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