Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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