You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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