Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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