its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Never underestimate the power of titties
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