the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
