Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
She announced her abortion via fbk
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
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