Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
