Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
