she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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