Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I forget how to act sober
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
