Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
we have officially lost it.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
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I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
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Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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