i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
