Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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