would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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