I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize