I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
