so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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