i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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