There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
