I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize