I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
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