I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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