I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
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so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
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last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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