Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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