Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
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She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
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I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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