i just wanna soil my oats bro
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
