I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
