I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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