dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
